{NoT aGaiN}

I seems that every few years I break a toe. How does this happen? Exhibit A: I have really long toes. They just jut out so far, and get cracked on door frames, port-a-crib legs, chairs. A few days before James died, I went downstairs to find James and Marshall sleeping under a "tent" made of a quilt with very heavy weights holding the corners onto the couch. Alarmed (and angry), I tugged on the quilt, only to have a weight fall onto my toe, breaking it. Now really mad, I scolded both boys and went upstairs to bed. They were clearly disheartened, having wanted only to "camp out" together. (Really, so sweet for a cool 17 year old boy to want to have this kind of fun with his little 10 year old brother). Marshall told me much later that he asked James why I would get so mad about something so little, and James told him "Mom is just tired and under lots of stress". Sweet boy. Libby's blessing was the next day, and James was right. After the accident I just could not feel any physical pain, and developed a severe bone infection. My toe turned a dark purple-black, and I had to go to the hospital multiple times for consultations, x-rays, and IV's. (I also developed a colon impaction---apparently a common condition in grief. But that's another story). I know how awful this sounds---but I really just wanted it cut off, as I felt incapable of coping with the situation. Of course the doctors wisely refused, and it eventually healed. Anyway, yesterday I fractured another toe. Just walking into Libby's room. Warning: Gross!! I bumped it very hard on the doorway, and felt it snap. When I looked down, my fourth toe had turned sideways, and was splayed across my littlest toe. Sideways. And the worst part... it felt kind of mushy. Like a glob of playdough atop my little toe. I kind of wish now that I'd photographed it, but I was too horrified. John met me at the hospital for X-rays. Then they gave me an IV to sedate me, and "reduced" (set) it. Now, in spite of the fact that my head is (as always) spinning with a to-do list, I am watching Curious George with Libby. The upside? At least I'll have time to catch up on blogs! Is there an (online) class addressing "How to get through life without breaking your toes even though they're way too long"? Honestly, I am guessing at least one person thought at first glance that the above photo was of my hand?

Updated to add: I am laughing so hard at the comments! When the nurse asked me the question, "On a scale of 1 to 10, how bad does it hurt?", I replied, "I know that there are people who come in here with their limbs cut off... but can I still say 10? Will you think less of me? Because in all honesty, I can't say 9." She asked, "Really?" And I (like Janet) said, "Worse than childbirth." One gangly toe.