{LiVe & LeARn & PaSS iT On}

"You don't choose your family.

They are God's gift to you,

as you are to them."

~Desmond Tutu

The quote above was on our website when we went to China. Then we used it as one of the quotes in James' funeral program (along with the "Hero" quote on the side of my blog, and several others). I love it. It reminds me of the divine plan that brings families together. Also that our families are God's gift to us. I am most assuredly still growing and learning how to parent. Especially now that our oldest is 21 years old, and we are navigating new territory. I have been thinking for a time, though, about things I have learned as a parent. I want to record some ideas in my "journal", so that our children will have some reminders of our family beliefs. Here are some things I hope they teach their children:

---"Don't tell people what you can show them." If you are really good at soccer (or playing guitar, or math, or charming girls) others will figure it out.

--- If you have to say "I was just kidding", you probably should not have said it in the first place.

--- No hitting. No exceptions.

--- If you go to the grocery store to buy celery for your mom, don't call her on your cell phone when you "can't remember what celery looks like". It is too upsetting for your mother to face the reality of what lies ahead for you. Just ask a produce guy. Or read the signs.

--- If you want to be treated like an adult , here are some things about adults that you should know: They clean stuff up. They call to let others know their whereabouts & schedule. They don't assume that others are less busy/tired/frustrated than they are. They keep their bodily functions to themselves, unless there is a medical emergency requiring them to discuss such things. They smile and look people in the eye. They listen. They say "please", "thank you", "you're welcome", and "I'm sorry". They throw garbage into garbage cans. We will know when you are an adult. You won't have to tell us.

--- A parent never wants to hear the word "probation" in the same sentence as their child's name. Even when it only means that their driving privileges are in jeopardy because of speeding and failing to stop for a full 3 seconds in such close proximity to getting their driver's license. Apparently a person has less points at their disposal for the first six months after getting their license. So not that kind of probation. But still.

---Dishes do not load themselves into the dishwasher. It might seem that way at times, but that is merely an illusion.

---No name calling. No exceptions.

---You don't have to do your best at everything. This is ridiculous. Do your best at what counts. Otherwise, just get it done.

---Few things are so bad that you can't fix them. It might not be easy, but if you come to us, we will help you. That doesn't mean we won't be mad.

---You are our life's work. You are why your Dad gets up and heads off to a long day's work. Why your Mother never sleeps quite enough. You are the very best thing that has ever happened to us. Never forget that. We are lucky, and we know it.